I don’t normally review books on this blog and I’m not necessarily reviewing a book or a series of books here. I’m really just having a discussion now that I’m almost caught up.

I’m “reading” the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. When I say “reading”, I really mean listening and I’m not sure that I could actually sit down and read these books if I was turning pages. I just don’t have the time to put into it. They are big. Huge. I would place these books in the category of fucking gigantic. I’ve spent so much time listening to these books that I refer to them as Scarlett’s British Mommy. The narrator is British and I let it play while I’m doing housework or playing with her so she hears quite a bit of it. I really hope that when she starts talking, she says things like “I ken” and “Aye”. That would be fantastic. To make my point about the size of these books (I have no idea how many pages they are but they are quite frankly in the George R.R. Martin realm), below is the running time for each audio book.

  1. Outlander – 32 Hours and 43 Minutes
  2. Dragon Fly in Amber – 39 Hours and 28 Minutes
  3. Voyager – 43 Hours and 51 Minutes
  4. Drums of Autumn – 44 Hours and 54 Minutes
  5. The Fiery Cross – 55 Hours and 30 Minutes
  6. A Breath of Snow and Ashes – (This thing downloaded in 7 parts) – 57 Hours and 46 Minutes
  7. An Echo in the Bone – 45 Hours and 54 Minutes
  8. Written in my Own Heart’s Blood44 Hours and 55 Minutes

Which means that after completing all 8 books, I will have spent 15 days and 2 hours listening to these books and that doesn’t even count the Lord John Grey Books. Who are we kidding? I’m going to listen to those too.

I’m not complaining. I’m truly not.

These books are a strange mix of history, romance, sci-fi, and melodrama. Nothing can happen for hours upon hours on end and then, BOOM! Jamie is thought to be dead, Claire is accused of being a rebel spy, and Jem gets kidnapped by some idiot who thinks Brianna and Roger have a stash of gold. And that’s the book I just finished. That doesn’t even count the time Jamie fought a bear with his bare hands. Or the time that Roger survived a hanging. Or when the house burned down because a jar of ether exploded. What was that, you might ask. That’s right. Claire concocted some ether and it blew up.

I LOVE THESE BOOKS! Love. Love. Love. I can’t even really explain why. I asked Ross if he would dress up as Jamie Fraser for Halloween with a kilt and everything…he declined. Too bad. Maybe next year.

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