Ross and I are pretty much like every other 30-something couple. We go to work. We have a baby. We own a house. And, we love HGTV.  It is with a heavy heart that I must confess HGTV has gone horribly wrong and betrayed us all, at least where Ross is concerned. There were a few things that led to the dismantling of my husband’s love affair with the home improvement channel.

Flip or Flop – I’m not sure why he loves this show so much. But he does. He even watches it when I’m not around which I still find amusing. Anyway, when the news broke that Christina and Tarek were secretly separated and getting a divorce, the show took on a whole new perspective. Christina’s side eye glances became mocking instead of endearing. The holiday commercials with the two of them and their kids talking about how they like to spend their days together watching Christmas movies were a joke. At one point, Ross shouted at the tv, “Stop lying to us”. I never laughed so hard in my life.

House Hunters – it was one of the conversations we were having about Flip or Flop that I brought up House Hunters. The conversation went a little something like this.

Me: Well, you know House Hunters if fake too, right?

Ross: What do you mean it’s fake? (Please envision a horrified expression gracing my poor husband’s face.)

Me: I read it’s fake too. I read somewhere that some of the houses they look at aren’t even up for sale. But I mean it you look at it, you can tell. Their reactions are a little too stilted. 

Ross: WHAT? Don’t tell me that! That just ruins the show for me.

This leads to the last nail in the coffin…

Fixer Upper – During the same conversation, I brought up the easy, go to Saturday marathon filler, Fixer Upper.

Me: Do you even want to know about Fixer Upper then?

Ross: (with a heavy sigh) I guess. What?

Me: I read that the house has to already be in contract before they’ll start filming so the whole fist portion is staged. I’m not sure why they need to do that. Nobody really cares about that segment anyway. Just have the people come in and say, ‘hey, we bought this house and want you to rehab the shit out of it.’ That would work just as well, if not better.

Ross: I can’t take any more. 

And so, the wool has been lifted and Santa has been revealed to my poor husband. That doesn’t mean we don’t still watch it. Christina gives the best side eye EVER.

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