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Valentine’s Day is one of the worst holidays we have and I’m including Arbor Day in that comparison because as a  holiday, Arbor Day is kind of silly.

I spent a lot of time in my teens and twenties alone. I didn’t date anyone on a regular basis or have someone that was really special to me. There are many reasons for that. Some include the following:

1. I have personal space issues and I don’t like my 3 foot bubble to be broken.

2. I have trouble reading social cues so I don’t really understand that kind of romantic/flirty exchange.

3. Subtle is not my forte. I’m a blunt and upfront individual. If I want something from you, I’m going to ask you for it and not beat around the bush. Evidently, this can turn some people off (especially guys).

4. I also have zero finesse. It’s actually embarrassing. As a human being, I’m actually quite socially awkward.

So, as you can see, it’s a miracle that I ever met Ross and managed to actually date him with any success. What this means is that until I met Ross, I hadn’t really had an actual Valentine’s Day-you know, with the roses, the fancy dinner, the candy. Basically all the shit you see in movies. This also means that by the time Ross and I were dating, I’d come to the conclusion that Valentine’s Day was stupid. Why do you only need one day? Also, who the fuck are you to tell me when I should be romantic? I don’t know you.

5. I’m also anti-establishment, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t do well when people try to tell me what to do.

So, here’s this year’s Valentine’s Day as an example. We each got the other an obligatory card. I gave him an extra card from our daughter. He did not reciprocate. He did, however, get me a balloon. I said in the store over the weekend how I wanted a giant balloon, teasing. Because really, who doesn’t love balloons. So he bought it. I would’ve taken a picture but I wasn’t planning on writing about this today. I was ill prepared…as usual.

For Ross, I trekked down to King Avenue from my office and picked up some heart shaped cookies and a sticky bun for him from The Angry Baker. Listen, I don’t know why the baker is angry. All I know is that they have yummy baked goods and a really good breakfast. Plus, baked goods.

The whole affair was pretty low key and we’re fine with it. We have our fake anniversary coming up. His birthday. There are plenty of days where we determine how important they are to us and quite frankly, Valentine’s Day doesn’t even rank on the list.

Don’t even get me started about Sweetest Day. Ugh! That’s a whole other post.

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Bahahaahahaha!

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