This weekend, for our 11th anniversary, Ross and I went to the movies like adults. It was refreshing and very understated. Whatever, we had good Chinese for a change and donuts. It was a win.

We saw Kingsman: The Golden Circle, which if you don’t know is a follow up to Kingsman: The Secret Service. Here is the blurb from IMDB:

When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organizations must band together to defeat a common enemy.

This about sums it up. The original was unassuming, fun, funny in a cheeky kinda way, and just amazing in the way it was presented. Sam L. Jackson is a mass murderer who can’t stand the sight of blood. The slow-mo action sequences are amazingly Matrix-esque but hammy cause they know its ridiculous. That’s what made the original so much fun. It didn’t take itself too seriously.

I can’t tell you how excited I was when I found out they were making a second one. Below is the trailer.

 

For anyone who expected something different, shame on you. This was just as ridiculously fabulous as the first one.

Let’s go over the points of awesomeness.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

The Swedish Princess from the end of the last movie is now Eggsy’s girlfriend. I hadn’t even really noticed this until the next day when Ross pointed it out. I clearly should have watched the last one before going into the second. I needed the refresher. But Eggsy…and a Princess. LOL

Then, let’s talk about Elton John. Right. Elton John. He actually has a lot of screen time and it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. When he gets the antidote for the “plague” and then turns around to the guard holding him captive to tell him to get the fuck out of his room, I almost died. It was such a diva thing to do and I could only imagine Elton John doing that in real life. They have him dressed up in all his 70’s glory and I have to wonder what his thought process was? Was it, you want me in another Kingsman??? Hell’s yeah! Or was it, what’s Kingsman? All I know is that the moment Elton John, in all his fluffy and sparkly finery, drop kicked the goon and gave a little wink to the camera, I almost peed my pants.

I just love Colin Firth. I will always love him. He carries a particular Darcy place in my heart. But the fact that he gets to play a proper gentleman who is also an ass-kicking, takes no names, bad-ass spy, WITH AN EYE PATCH…that’s just icing on the cake for me.

Julianne Moore was the villain and creepy as hell. I’ll give it to her. I usually don’t like her, she has a little piranha mouth and it weirds me out. I really don’t understand how he eats burgers. I just don’t. But ignoring all that, she was amazing. When she said that the guy from the last movie was kidnapping celebrities and she didn’t see a reason why she shouldn’t kidnap Elton John, was pretty funny and delivered so seriously that I laughed out loud. She was a petulant psychopathic child and it was amazing. I love villains you don’t see coming but really give you the heebie geebies.

Don’t get me wrong, there were some downsides.

  1. The ending was very anticlimactic. Julianne Moore’s character got off way too easy.
  2. Colin Firth’s character took too long to get back in the game after being shot in the head in the last movie and suffering amnesia. You read that right. Amnesia.
  3. Jeff Bridges didn’t get nearly enough screen time.
  4. All the Stateman people were dressed like they were from Texas but their base was in Kentucky. It was strange.
  5. There were some time lapse issues. Like getting from Kentucky to Singapore in a matter of a few hours and back again.
  6. So, in order to quarantine these people with the disease JM created, they stacked them in cages, individual cages, in an arena with giant cranes like those claw games in Denny’s (that’s the only place I’ve ever seen them).
    1. Who just has thousands of individual cages to stack up on one another like legos?
    2. Where did they get the giant claws?
    3. How did they move them in so fast?
    4. So, this disease was basically like Ebola and you would just explode. The people on the bottom of the stack must have just been covered in gore. The clean up crew for that stadium should just quit. That’s not in their union contract.
  7. At the end Channing Tatum is in a bowler hat. That’s not a good look. His head and neck are waaaaay too big for a bowler. I’m just saying…

So, as you can see, there are some problems but it was fun and I enjoyed it. Decide for yourself and go see it, cause I definitely want a Kingsman 3.

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