Memberships

Posted: January 19, 2018 in Uncategorized

As a writer, pseudo professional anyway, I’m a member of certain organizations. I pay these organizations to be affiliated with them. At this point, I’m not sure what I get out of them. The national membership to Romance Writers of America hinges all the local chapter affiliations. At the moment, I’m sitting at the point of renewal for the chapter affiliations and I’m not sure what to do. Do I give them my money and never go to a meeting, never have any promo come out of them, never attend an event. Some of this is my fault. Ross works retail and is rarely off on a Saturday to watch Scarlett so I can attend these meetings. Yes, I could make arrangements for him to be home or get a babysitter, etc. But the crux of the matter is, the topics covered don’t really apply to me. Because in the end, I’m not really a romance writer.

The romance writer thing…my work doesn’t really fit. I write from a first person POV. I don’t have an HEA in each book. And, the most offensive of all, the relationship isn’t the focus of my books. I don’t write romance. I write urban fantasy, dark fantasy, and sometimes, straight up fantasy. But I don’t qualify for the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America organization because I haven’t made enough money off of one book. Horror Writers of America is pretty much the same. They at least have an affiliate level membership that is for sad people who don’t have advances.

So, the reality is that I’m stuck being a member of organizations that don’t really fit because those are the only ones that will accept me. That’s both frustrating and annoying. I’m a proven “joiner”. I will give you my money. LET ME IN!

Cold. Cold. Cold.

Posted: January 17, 2018 in Uncategorized

Central Ohio is fickle where the weather is concerned. Last week, it went from 15 for 60 in a matter of days. It’s supposed to do that again this week. However, last night it was -7. When I got up this morning, the temperature outside had hit 9.

9

And I had a moment where I was like, that’s not that bad. But that is COLD.

This is not okay. As I was pulling into the garage this morning, I saw some kid walking to class with a quilt. He had it wrapped around his head like and clutched beneath his chin as it fanned out behind him like a cloak. It was kinda amazing. It was a legit quilt, squares and all. You know his mom gave that to him. She probably worked hard on it and he was dragging it outside like we lived in some other dimension where cloaks were okay. I’m gonna be honest with you, I was a little jealous.

Scarlett has a little snow suit – which she is super adorable in – but as I passed it on draped over the kitchen chair this morning, all I kept thinking was…where do I get one for me. Let’s be honest, that wind blew right through my pants on my 10 minute walk to work this morning. I was extremely jealous of the quilt/cloak.

Car Windows are NOT Opaque!

Posted: January 16, 2018 in Uncategorized

Soooo, here’s the thing. When you’re sitting in your car, people can see you. They can see you pick your nose. Then, they can see you eat it.

Just an FYI for future reference.

Not cool, dude. Not cool.

Panera=Worst

Posted: January 10, 2018 in Uncategorized

Why is Panera the worst? I don’t understand this. Every time I go into a panera, it takes FOREVER!

They’re not making anything from scratch so why does it take so long. Usually, and this is sad, but I look to see who is behind the line to gauge how long it’s going to take. If it’s women, then I’m fine. I know it won’t take that long. Let’s be honest, chicks get shit done. It’s what we do. So, when I see two guys back there, I mentally prepare myself for the wait.

I think that mindset has to change because I’m pretty sure that time completely stops in a Panera and gender no longer matters.

 

Trippy. Right?

Anyway, I literally, watched two women behind the line last night at Panera take ten, COUNT THEM – 10 whole minutes to fill one order in a very tiny bag. It’s not gender anymore. I think Panera alters a persons ability to feel a sense of urgency. I’ve worked food service before and don’t get me wrong, it sucks. But the faster you get people out of the building, the less they can bother you.

The next time you’re in a Panera, just watch them on the line. It is one of the most inefficient work spaces I’ve ever seen. Nothing is within reach. They have to cross back and forth for one sandwich at least twice. And, they only have two presses and one of them is always down.

Also, who decided it was a good idea to change the breakfast menu? I went in last week and ordered a sausage, egg, and cheese power sandwich. Usually, this isn’t a problem. Then they changed the menu and now, they asking me if I want this thing on brioche. No, I don’t want it on brioche. First, that takes longer. Second, just make the stupid sandwich the same way you’ve made this sandwich for a decade. Then, and they did not ask me if I wanted this, they put an over easy egg on it. This was not told to me. So, when I bit into this thing – IN MY CAR – it exploded all over me. I was covered in it. My coat. My pants. My face. It. Was. Everywhere.

Why did they start handing out everything in tiny shopping bags with handles. That seems unnecessary and much too posh. Let’s be real. Panera is only a fancy McDonald’s in disguise. Handles on your bags aren’t going to change that.

Every time I go into a Panera, regardless of which one, it turns into a cluster. Plus, their coffee is horrible.

New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Make my own breakfast (totally winning on this one. Even though it’s only week two, I feel confident)
  2. Stop going to Panera (after last night, check)
  3. Remember to take creamer to work (this one is important and I’m failing miserably)

That about covers it and look, you were expecting substance today…

 

Know Your Crazy

Posted: January 8, 2018 in Uncategorized

This is an actual conversation that happened this weekend (paraphrased, of course).

Me: So what do you think about not having a birthday party this year for Scarlett?

Ross: I think that’s a great idea. You know me, I would prefer we do nothing all the time. But why?

Me: I said we were only going to do a tea party.

Ross: Like an Alice in Wonderland tea party?

Me: No, just a regular tea party but I can’t be trusted not to let this thing spin out of control. I don’t have time to worry about my crazy.

Ross: True statement.

Me: So, you’re okay with this?

Ross: This might be the best idea you’ve ever had. Besides, we won’t be able to afford a birthday party once the electric bill comes in. Stupid auxiliary heat! Wait, did it just kick on again? ARGH! *shakes fists*

He’s obsessed with the auxiliary heat. Listen, it was below 0 degrees this weekend. I’m okay with the auxiliary heat kicking in. I like my toes where they are . . . on my feet.

So, there you have it. No birthday party this year but we’ll have plenty of pics from Disney.

We’re going to talk about a couple of things today.

First, Godless.

 

I am completely obsessed with this show. It’s brutal, graphic, jaw dropping at times, and honestly it was nice to not have to watch women cower in the corner for a change. Those bitches were hard core and it was amazing. Jeff Daniels was equal parts creepy and benevolent. The cinematography was incredible. And can I just reiterate that 1. some bad shit happened 2. those bitches picked themselves up and 3. they moved the fuck on and didn’t manage to turn into monsters. However, they did manage to kick some serious ass. So there’s that.

Next…Bright.

 

Oh, Bright…

This had so much potential. The bones were there to make something incredible. However, there were some problems.

  1. So, the point of Fantasy is to kinda take humanity, reflect it back at you while skewing/blurring the morality you know. Like is racism okay now that there are orcs and elves in the picture? This didn’t do that. . . at all.
  2. It was dark. I don’t mean like atmospherically dark. I mean I couldn’t see shit. If you are adding all of these fantastical elements that apparently mean something, I kinda need to see them.
  3. Evidently, something happened 2000 years ago between orcs/humans/elves but that is never explained so, you never really understand the implications of what happened or why it’s important. Hell, you don’t even understand if it was important, just that something happened.
    1. Okay, so if this big thing happened 2000 years ago, how did society basically evolve identically to how it is in real life?
  4. They kept saying that they were in a prophecy but no one ever said what that prophecy was or why it was important! Plus, there seemed to be conflicting prophecies for what they were doing vs the orcs’ prophecy (cause evidently, everyone has a prophecy), so I’m not entirely sure which one we were heading toward because I NEVER had either of them spoken out loud.
  5. They were attempting to stop this “Dark Lord” from coming back but no one ever said what this “Dark Lord’s” intentions were or why they were bad.
  6. So, everyone is after this magic wand. Half the city get’s shot up in the pursuit of this wand. However, it is common knowledge that only a Bright can touch a magic wand and those are rare. If you touch a magic wand, you kinda disappear. Where? Who knows? That’s never explained either. Maybe they were vaporized. I don’t know. Anyway, here’s the question. If you can’t touch the wand to use it and you don’t have anyone who can, what is the fucking point of having the wand in the first place?

However, despite all of these problems…Netflix has ordered a sequel. Can we please consult a fantasy writer before filming this shit? Please? Just please. Ask for help! People will thank you for it.

I’m BACK!

Posted: January 3, 2018 in Uncategorized

So, I’ve been gone for a while. I had planned to write my blogs ahead of time so that when I was on vacation all I had to do was post them…

Yeah, that didn’t happen. I was ridiculously lazy where my blogs were concerned. I don’t feel bad about it either. Now, however, I have blog material for days and days. We’ll talk about a few things over the next few blogs; Godless – AMAZING, Bright – Questionable, and some other things. Right now, though, we’re going to talk about the run down my my vaca week.

How much fun can a stay-cation be? I mean, it wasn’t a thrill a minute but I got some quiet time, I saw some friends, and read some books. Okay, I read four trashy regency romance novels and I’m not ashamed one bit. They were delightful, lusty, and fun. That’s all I wanted was a little bit of fun in a corset. Is that too much to ask.

My friends and I saw Pitch Perfect 3. It was just as silly and ridiculous as you expect. Again. Fun. If you went in there thinking you were going to see La La Land, you were sadly mistaken and that’s your fault. This has Rebel Wilson in it for fuck’s sake. What are you expecting?

Christmas was lovely. As I said in my blog on Christmas day, I did not get out of my pajamas and I laid on the couch for most of the day watching silly movies. This is the spread I put out for us. Yeah, there were only three of us! What’s the problem? 26063637_10214935621841659_7129656203039335319_o

Scarlett is spoiled. That’s not my opinion anymore that’s just a fact. Here she is with two of her favorite presents. We’ve got a retro kitchen and I guess the second picture is alot of favorite presents. We’ve got the Snow White dress, the princess slippers, and the Minnie Mouse power wheels. I think I might agree with my husband. There might actually be too much Disney in my house.

 

After that, it was all me. I went to see Justice League. Alone. That was wonderful. Not the movie, that was just okay. But going where I wanted to go when I wanted to go was amazing. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad they decided to have a cohesive plot instead of throwing shit at the wall to see what stuck! That was a good choice. But it still wasn’t right. It was good. Not great.

I took my kid to a bar to hang out with my friends, in from Portland. I also don’t feel guilty about that. She had a grand time and even used the potty like a big girl. Small things make me happy. Don’t judge me.

Then on Saturday we were supposed to go see The Last Jedi. SUPPOSED to. We had the babysitter. We had the tickets. Then. I had strep. That’s right folks. For the last weekend of my stay-cation, for New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. I had strep throat and a temperature of 101. That’s how I spent my New Year’s day, sitting in an Urgent care – with my toddler – trying not to die on the spot.

So, other than the strep and fever, it was a pretty good stay-cation and I’m ready to be back at work…

I’m still working on the independently wealthy thing. I’ll let you know if I get there.