My Kitten Videos

Posted: September 20, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’m fascinated by cake decorating videos. I can’t even tell you why but they are hypnotizing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually want to decorate a cake or accomplish all the things I see in these videos, I just can’t stop watching them. Like this one

 

These are my kitten videos. No matter what I’m doing or looking for, when these things come up on my feed, I sit there and watch the whole thing. I don’t even watch them with sound so I have no idea what’s being said. I am simply watching the cake being decorated and the faster the speed of the decorating the better. I have a problem…

DayQuil Side Effects

Posted: September 18, 2017 in Uncategorized

So, here’s the thing. I don’t know why but DayQuil makes me bitchy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m normally bitchy but DayQuil takes it to a whole other level. It’s like I have zero fucks to give and don’t even really care about that fact.

I, basically gave my employees a safe word today when I had to take the medication. I told them that if I got out of control, they could say it and let me know I’d gone to far. We decided on Maybe later as the safe word and I only got it once. Yay! I probably should have gotten it a second and third time but I think Diane is too nice to really call the safe word out.

Now, I have to go home and hope for the best.

Bubbles Bubbles Bubbles

Posted: September 13, 2017 in Uncategorized

I have never laughed so hard in my life. That’s not true. I probably have but this was pretty damned funny.

Ross started Scarlett’s bath last night and asked her is she wanted bubbles. Well, of  course she did. This is our bubbles bottle…

735303290178Please notice the flip top cap.

Ross unscrewed the cap and poured a cap full or Mr. Bubble into the bath. I gave him some pretty good side eye

– like Christina El Moussa good side eye because that woman gives the most amazing side eye I’ve ever seen.

Me: What are you doing?

Ross: Putting bubbles in the bath.

Me: You know you don’t have to take the lid off, right?

Ross: I’m following the directions.

Me: What?

Then, I’m not even lying, he precedes to read the directions to me.

Ross: For a tub full of bubbles, add two to three capfulls.

I have no idea how to spell this word since I didn’t read the directions of MR. BUBBLES!

Me: But wait! That says 2 to 3 cap fulls and you only added 1. You’re not even following the direction.

I’m laughing hysterically at this point.

Ross: I am too! I don’t want a full bath full of bubbles. I only want half.

Still laughing…

Me: You are ridiculous and this is definitely going up on my blog tomorrow. 

Ross: You can ridicule me on your blog all you want but I know how many bubbles I want.

Me: Bahahaahahaahahaha

Too many bubbles! Ha! That’s not even a thing.

GOT Ruins Everything

Posted: September 11, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’m not joking. I think Game of Thrones has ruined my television watching experience. I’ve come to expect jaw dropping excitement with each episode and your premieres and finales better be top notch or I just don’t have the time for you.

I still have three episodes of the Flash from last season that I haven’t watched because, honestly, I didn’t care if Iris lived or died. I was really hoping she was dead cause I was awful tired of that story-line.

Last night was the season premiere of Outlander and I’ve been looking forward to this for WEEKS and it was . . . lackluster. It was all flashbacks. DAMN IT, I want to see her hunting Jamie down. There’s so much ground to cover in this book and I’m afraid they’re not going to get to half of it. Oh God, what if they split it over two seasons? I can’t. I need to see Jamie Fraser fight a bear with his bare hands now. NOW, do you hear me?

So, I hold out hope for next week, and the week after, and the week after, and the week after. You get the picture.

I’m definitely not going back to the Flash though. I have Arrow to tide me over for my superhero fix.

Tiny Hiatus

Posted: September 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’ve been away for about a week now and I apologize for that. However, I have a pretty good excuse. I’ve been flat on my back since Sunday. In fact, I’m lying on the floor right now while typing this.

I’ve basically felt like this all week. At the beginning of the week, it was bad. I was literally crawling, on hands and knees through the house because that was the only way I could get from A to B. My daughter kept following me around talking about how she was going to pet me like the kitten. All I can say is that if she didn’t look exactly like me, I sure as shit would know she was my kid from statements like that one.

On monday we went to urgent care and they gave me an anti-inflammatory, pain meds, and the usually blissful muscle relaxers. Only problem, they weren’t working. None of it! None of it was working. I called the urgent care and told them it wasn’t working and they told me to go to the ER. Fuck that! I’m not spending an entire day at the ER. Here’s the thing, OSU is real good about seeing you in a timely manner. They’re not so good at releasing you. If you spend five hours in the ER, four of those are waiting for discharge papers.

I managed to get an appointment for the next day at the dr.’s office. Miracle of miracles. This leads to X-rays, which leads to physical therapy, meanwhile, I’m only really able to walk for more than ten feet today. Also, my doctor is super stingy with the work releases. She wrote me one on Wednesday, knowing that I couldn’t walk and that the meds weren’t doing anything. Then for friday when the physical therapist said I should stay home and rest, buildup my maneuverability, and endurance…but not for Thursday. What the hell do you think I was going to do on Thursday if I couldn’t go to work on Wednesday and Friday? Somehow, miraculously, thursday was fine. Whatever!

So, what I’ve learned this week is that my daughter is actually really patient. That my husband loves me unconditionally. You realize this when they have to pull you up off the toilet because you can’t do it yourself or wash your hair for you because you can’t. I’ve also learned that the floor in the living room is way more comfortable than the floor in our bedroom. I think they skimped on the padding under the carpet in the bedrooms. Good to know. Also, that the hallway bathroom is easier to get up from than my master bath. And easier to flush. I’ve also learned that the cat will take any opportunity to get up in my face and lying on the floor just gives him more time to pester me.

I don’t like this and I’m ready to be mobile again.

Don’t Bring Me Down

Posted: September 1, 2017 in Uncategorized

So, on our way back from Wheeling we got close enough to Columbus to switch to local stations on the radio. Ross’s favorite station – other than the sports talk radio – is an oldies station. When you say oldies station, I think about the stations I listened to as a kid in the car with my parents. Music from the 50’s and sixties. I did not equate “oldies” to mean the 80’s and 90’s!

Anyway, this station was playing a Casey Kasem countdown from 1979. Also, for those of you who don’t know who Casey Kasem was, I don’t know what to say to you. Basically, he was Ryan Seacrest before Ryan Seacrest. And at this point, the countdown was all disco. Which, I’m not sure why there was that much disco in the world and how the human race survived it.

Ross: It all sounds the same.

Me: It’s dance music. It has to or you don’t have the right beat for the dance.

Ross: Oh, I guess that’s true. Then that’s why all that techno house music sounds the same too.

Me: Right.

Then this song came on and it was like number six that week back in 1979 when I was 1 year old.

 

This is the conversation that followed.

Ross: What did Bruce ever due to them?

Me: Bring them down? I mean, they seem very adamant about going out onto the floor and dancing. And how much of a downer do you think Bruce was to justify an entire song about it?

Ross: Listen Bruce! I just took all this coke and I’m going out there to dance. You better not bring me down.

Me: I’m going out there in my big shoes, bell bottom pants, and damn it! I’m going to dance on that lighted floor like there’s no tomorrow. DO. NOT. BRING. ME. DOWN.

Ross: Do you think they had the coke because of the lighted floor or the other way around.

Me: I think you can’t have the lighted floor without the coke. Or, at least, you shouldn’t.

Ross: Ah, cocaine is a hellova drug.

Me: Don’t bring him down, man.

Ross: We have to stop this.

Scarlett: Stop talking, guys.

She’s two and a half by the way.

WTAF?

Posted: August 30, 2017 in Uncategorized

Here’s the thing. I work in a very large bureaucracy and some of the things I have to do on a daily basis are dumb, redundant, and/or illogical (any of these will work – take your pick). But, I at least know how to do my job. I’m very good at my job. Hence the reason I find all of these things dumb, redundant, and/or illogical.

I look around at the people working here and I understand why there’s so much stupid shit we have to do. Because no one knows what the hell they’re doing. Worse yet, the people in charge of them don’t know or understand what those people are supposed to be doing. So they can’t tell them they’re doing it wrong.

There are times where I just sit in my office with my mouth open in amazement.

What the Actual Fuck?

I assume it’s like this everywhere. PLEASE TELL ME IT’S LIKE THIS EVERYWHERE! I need to hear that for my own sanity.

It has been my observation that there are a couple of people who actually do the work and then a bunch of stragglers who glide by on their ability to bullshit, their good looks, or just because no one notices them in the grand scheme of things. It’s kinda like every group project I’ve ever been a part of. Why do teachers still think these are a good idea? The people on the margins don’t learn anything, while the type A person who can’t stand to fail picks up all the slack and completes all the work. It’s pointless.

Work is just a giant group project and the same rules apply. It’s very frustrating, aggravating, and/or demoralizing (again, any of these work – take your pick). Think of your life from now until you die as one giant group project.

Yep, that about covers it.